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The haircut







Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week'

The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

As Ronald Reagan said: “Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often and for the same reason.”

 

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My point. He doesn't "smell alcohol".
So, first experience with expressions in English that don't really mean what the literal definition of the words mean? English is a tough language that way. How long have you been speaking it, now?
 

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THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.
 

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THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.
"Listen, I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies, I'm stealing their lollipops, ..."

Richard Jordan as Jeffery Pelt from the movie The Hunt for Red October.
 

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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is real heavy and the other is a little lighter.



What did the bartender ask the horse when it walked in?

Why the long face?
 

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"Listen, I'm a politician, which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies, I'm stealing their lollipops, ..."

Richard Jordan as Jeffery Pelt from the movie The Hunt for Red October.

One of my favorite quotes (from a relatively unrecognized actor given his talent)
 

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The Reverend Smith answers the phone:
"Hello Reverend, this is the IRS. Is John Jones a member of your congregation?"

"He is."

"Did he contribute $5,000 to your church?"

"He will."
 

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If I had known in March when we went to the restaurant that it would be the last time in nearly forever that we would visit a restaurant, I WOULD have ordered the dessert!
 
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