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The Badge

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this freaiking badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FREAKING BADGE!" —
 

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New Flash -- The Pope to take up model railroading ?!?

Love it!!!

TJ
This hobby is getting too mainstream. haha

also, he must be on a hell of a retirement plan to afford model railroading! what a generous church! haha
 

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You People Take a Passing Mortal Thought, and Do Some Strange Things To Them...

One: I only said the Pope "should" take model railroading up!

Two: The Pope should get himself a real locomotive (steam of cource), like the tank engine Rev. Teddy Boston had in England, if the Vatican has it's own railway system (keep the kiddies and Benidict busy!)

Three: That Youtube Video isin't funny, it's cruel and terrible! Those poor Lionel's; oh the humanity!!! - :eek: & :(

Four: We're not that mainstream! My U.S. History Teacher took a low blow joke yesterday, about when I raised my hand, ignored me, then said "I thought he wanted to talk about trains." I've talked trains in a historical context [I.E. Hillyard (where he grew up), and WW1 (The USRA take-over and Standard Designs!)]. The class laughed, but he apologized later (I'm the biggest railfan and model railroader in my school, and in a five mile radius of the place.). - :thumbsdown::)

To Sum it Up: 1) Suggestion Only! 2) Capital Improvement of The Vatican Railway! 3)Gomez Addams must be summoned to the MTF Court on "Destruction of Lionels" counts. And 4) We're Not Mainstream!

On that bombshell... Some say he's a front runner for the Papiacy even though we're not quite sure of his faith. Some say he can catch fish with his toung and that he's on high priced stamps in Sweden. All we know is, he's called The Stig! Good Night! - :laugh:
 

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One: I only said the Pope "should" take model railroading up!

Two: The Pope should get himself a real locomotive (steam of cource), like the tank engine Rev. Teddy Boston had in England, if the Vatican has it's own railway system (keep the kiddies and Benidict busy!)

Three: That Youtube Video isin't funny, it's cruel and terrible! Those poor Lionel's; oh the humanity!!! - :eek: & :(

Four: We're not that mainstream! My U.S. History Teacher took a low blow joke yesterday, about when I raised my hand, ignored me, then said "I thought he wanted to talk about trains." I've talked trains in a historical context [I.E. Hillyard (where he grew up), and WW1 (The USRA take-over and Standard Designs!)]. The class laughed, but he apologized later (I'm the biggest railfan and model railroader in my school, and in a five mile radius of the place.). - :thumbsdown::)

To Sum it Up: 1) Suggestion Only! 2) Capital Improvement of The Vatican Railway! 3)Gomez Addams must be summoned to the MTF Court on "Destruction of Lionels" counts. And 4) We're Not Mainstream!

On that bombshell... Some say he's a front runner for the Papiacy even though we're not quite sure of his faith. Some say he can catch fish with his toung and that he's on high priced stamps in Sweden. All we know is, he's called The Stig! Good Night! - :laugh:



Two: The Pope should get himself a real locomotive (steam of cource), like the tank engine Rev. Teddy Boston had in England, if the Vatican has it's own railway system (keep the kiddies and Benidict busy!)

See post # 41

ho_model_train_bumper_sticker-p128413976176749519en8y3_400.jpg
 

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Trainguru's Soapbox Time: Enough Pope Talk! New Jokes Please!!!

Can we find some new humor. The Pope Se-cola is getting old and on my Pop's nerves (he was raised Catholic, but now reads the word for himself.). I mean seriously, let's get some more jokes about the United Kingdom or something? How about some non-Gomez train jokes? Let's get back to basics! - :(
 

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Engineers Paddy and Murphy (Irish mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A blonde woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Murphy, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Paddy shook his head and laughed. " just what I expected of a blonde!
We wanted the height and she gives us the length!"
 

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Discussion Starter #53
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender.

'Micheal O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy.

'That little O'Connor,' says Sean, 'He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.'

'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it.'

'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?'

That I did,' said Paddy, 'Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.'
 

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Oy Vey!!! A terrible thought that would be... sounds like the beginnings of a bad story plot... - :rolleyes: - hmmmm (I'm serious).
 

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Missing wife found

Two days after his wife fell overboard in pleasure boating accident a local man answered his door to find two grim-faced local lobsta, aka lobster, men standing there.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about
your wife", said one of the men.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens exclaimed.

The men looked at each other. One said, "We have some
bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which
would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the
bad news first."


The man said, "I'm sorry to tell you but this morning we found your wife's body in the Bay."

"Oh my God!", exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked,
"What's the good news?"

The man continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 pound, pound and a half lobstas and a few good sized good-sized dungeness
crabs clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a
share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news,
then what's the great news?"

The man replied, "We set her agin and goin' to pull her up again
tomorrow."

:D
 

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Two days after his wife fell overboard in pleasure boating accident a local man answered his door to find two grim-faced local lobsta, aka lobster, men standing there.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about
your wife", said one of the men.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens exclaimed.

The men looked at each other. One said, "We have some
bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which
would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the
bad news first."


The man said, "I'm sorry to tell you but this morning we found your wife's body in the Bay."

"Oh my God!", exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked,
"What's the good news?"

The man continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 pound, pound and a half lobstas and a few good sized good-sized dungeness
crabs clinging to her, and we feel you are entitled to a
share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news,
then what's the great news?"

The man replied, "We set her agin and goin' to pull her up again
tomorrow."

:D
If it wasn't so funny I would call it SICK! :eek:hwell: :laugh: :D
Bob
 

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Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Kevin's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"**** ,Kevin how long you been here? How did you talk your missus into letting you go ?"

"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who ?'"
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!!
She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes !
She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So . . . . here I am !
 

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Unholy, sweet mother of Monroe! They were both super stupid. She walked right into that one, and he's so blind! Why do the best of the worst jokes come from the other side of the equator? -:laugh: & :(
 
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